Should I talk about children while dating?
Women often ask, Should I talk about children while dating and in the early phase of a relationship?
Let’s explore this question today.
I always encourage women in my sessions and workshops to sit with themselves and start writing what they want and how they want to feel in the relationship and next to their man. This is very important because if your priority in life is to have family, you ideally want to be with a family man. Someone who will have similar or the same vision and values.
So number one; Is to discover what you really want in life and from a relationship. What may happen is you realise that all your life up until now, you’d been putting everyone first and yourself last. Often women realise that they had accommodated their partner too much in the past. It was all about him and what he wanted. I often see women lose themselves in relationships and for their men and as a result, after some time, they end up feeling lonely, empty, resentful and lost.
If you realise similar issues arise for you, maybe it is time to go deeper and start healing the past. To stand in your power, connect with your values and desires.
Why am I saying this? As the more you grow to know yourself, the more you heal and the more you know who you are and what you want. And instead of wasting your time and energy for things and people that are not in alignment with your values, you go for things you really want!
Think of it like when you need to buy milk and instead of going directly to where the milk is, you go around and around the store only to find that the milk is now out of stock.
The same is with dating. If you do not bring this subject up you may discover months or years later that he never wants children.
I had a client that was already in her early 40s. And she came to me distraught because she had broken up with her partner. She was grieving the time she lost with him as she always wanted children however, he was postponing this and then eventually, they split. She knows now she may never have children, as she was living in an illusion with this man.
Chopik, a professor of psychology said “People invest a lot in finding someone who’s compatible, but our research says that may not be the ‘end-all, be-all, instead, people may want to ask, ‘Are they a nice person?’ ‘Do they have a lot of anxiety?’ Those things matter way more.”
Agreeableness and stability matter, along with whatever other attributes you find attractive.
So my dating advice is, yes you talk about whether he wants family or not and what your desires are. What’s important is that when you bring this subject up you are not in a state of desperation and neediness. Feel confident knowing who you are and what you want from life. Also, make sure you feel grounded and in your heart space before you start this conversation.
Watch for any red flags, as sometimes men will say what women want to hear even though deep down they do not mean it. You must also look for other signs that he is a family man. It is important to pick up on these signs at the beginning of your relationship so you don’t get involved too deep, as then it can be harder and harder to get out of.
Go for what you want in life. Don’t waste your time. However, if you go for things which are not aligned with you, that’s ok. It can also be a great opportunity to look inward for self-healing.
I invite you to join my 8-week program, where we go much deeper in how to align yourself with what you want in life, gain clarity with who you want to attract or what relationship you want to create. We go deep into subconscious programs and beliefs to find what’s blocking you and causing you to sabotage your relationships. We also cover how to communicate more effectively. It is a powerful program!
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“Karolina is a truly excellent mentor and healer. I benefitted from Karolina’s support, powerful healing session and her teaching. Karolina intuitively finds the right balance between support and constructive challenge. I could see huge changes already after few weeks working with her. I also recommend her programs that are always packed with value and powerful energy healing clearing and activations. I highly recommend Karolina as a healer and mentor”
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