When I look at myself in the mirror today, I see a completely different woman from the girl I used to be. These days you wouldn’t recognise that girl. The one who went through all of that pain and grief to emerge as I am today.
The truth is, most of my life I didn’t know what happiness really meant, I never knew or felt the truth and raw beauty of this feeling. It was an abstract concept that seemed out of reach.
My childhood was a scary place. My father was an abusive alcoholic, and I suffered from emotional, physical, mental and sexual abuse. I took refuge with my granny, but by the age of 16, I had terrible depression. I was suicidal and wanted to end my life – I didn’t see any light or hope in the tunnel.
A STORY OF TRANSFORMATION
I spent the next few years feeling deeply lost and unloved. Although I had escaped my home, I was continually repeating my childhood patterns in abusive and traumatic romantic relationships.
Finally, with a broken heart, I left Poland ventured to the UK. The next 12 years were a huge challenge. I felt like an outsider; I had to learn a new culture and a new language. In 2005, my world collapsed. My father died among the drama of our toxic family. Then my beloved granny and my best friend died. Then my beloved brother committed suicide. I was broken inside. At that point, I believe I died too. I was saturated with grief and pain on every level.
While I was unprepared to lose everyone I cared about within such a short space of time, the intense grief gave me a unique perspective. I was stripped raw, longing to feel love but distinctly alone. I understood that I was swimming upstream against the currents of my life and that I was drowning.
I WAS READY FOR CHANGE
That was when I found spirituality and I manifested my first spiritual teacher.
She helped me to open up to so many new aspects of life. Together we started working on my trauma and healing my physical body. I began to understand how my childhood had shaped my belief system. In just six weeks things began to shift. After years of suffering, I began to heal on every level. The speed of this showed me the power of this work and inspired me to go deeper.
This is how I found my power. I began doing courses and reading books. The universe sent me so many people to help me on this journey, and over time I discovered my true gifts. I became qualified as a healer and started helping people to transform their pain.
The challenges I once faced are the foundation of my gift to the world. I use my experience and my intuition to help others to heal from grief, broken hearts, ill health, abuse and trauma. These days I’m so grateful for those gifts and immensely thankful that I can now feel pure joy and happiness.